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As the months went by we saw a lot of Carol. Otherwise, Carol could be fired. On the first day of school the bus driver asked.

I told him, and he shook his head. Many more people asked after that. Through the questioning my seven-year-old awareness became more sophisticated and intuitive.

I picked up on the homophobic comments and verbal abuse that was slung around my school, as it is in many small town schools in America, and elsewhere.

It had never been voiced but it was clear now that my mother was gay, and gay people were hated. And if I let anyone know about it, not only would Carol lose her teaching job, but actual harm could be done to them.

Equally terrifying, I could be singled out at school. Exposure in areas of the U. He had died suddenly a year before she met Carol, and before his death he and my mother had been separated.

But there were people whom my mother feared would try to take me away, if they knew about her life. I learned to suppress any burgeoning romantic feelings I might have felt for female friends, to play it cool and keep my guard up at all times.

When I eventually did share with friends that my mother was gay, long after I had left Arkansas and moved to more liberal climes, it was always as dinner party fodder.

As in all prejudices and bigotry, the underbelly of homophobia is fear. It is generational and only changes when there is conscious and deliberate education and awareness.

It comes down to language and arming children with ideas and words they need to explain things to themselves and defend things to their peers. I had no one to talk to about it, so my language was internalized.

I begged her to end the relationship and move back into our small rented apartment in town. To find a boyfriend. Living with this secret at a young age was a blessing as well as a burden.

It gave me a huge amount of empathy for others in almost every life situation I have been in since — something that has helped me to parent my two young children.

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A former Deputy Governor of the Central Bank The events of last week on the floor of the Nigerian Senate eclipsed any farce that has occurred prior.

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But there were people whom my mother feared would try to take me away, if they knew about her life.

I learned to suppress any burgeoning romantic feelings I might have felt for female friends, to play it cool and keep my guard up at all times.

When I eventually did share with friends that my mother was gay, long after I had left Arkansas and moved to more liberal climes, it was always as dinner party fodder.

As in all prejudices and bigotry, the underbelly of homophobia is fear. It is generational and only changes when there is conscious and deliberate education and awareness.

It comes down to language and arming children with ideas and words they need to explain things to themselves and defend things to their peers. I had no one to talk to about it, so my language was internalized.

I begged her to end the relationship and move back into our small rented apartment in town. To find a boyfriend.

Living with this secret at a young age was a blessing as well as a burden. It gave me a huge amount of empathy for others in almost every life situation I have been in since — something that has helped me to parent my two young children.

As I grew into a teenager I was rude, talked back, showed my mother little respect and Carol even less. I felt emboldened by their hidden life, as if I could lord their secret over them.

A trip to the nearest cinema in Berryville meant that I had to sit between my mom and Carol, and there was never hand holding or kissing.

At the school where she taught, Carol faced constant prying into her life from fellow teachers, parents and the administration.

I see now that they also had to put on a mask, to pretend, to hope that no one asked deeper questions. I recently turned 40, and am now older than my mother was when she started her relationship with Carol and changed her life so drastically.

It strikes me how brave she was to have made this decision. How many times they were forced to accept something inferior, second rate.

What was the interest rate on their bank loan and did the lumberyard give them a fair deal when it came to build their house?

I would like to think that children raised by gay parents in do not face the same crippling isolation caused by secrecy. I wonder whether growing up in that small town with that huge secret would have been easier if, as today, there had been a range of support available both online and off.

If I could have searched the hashtag gaymom and found some friends on Instagram who understood, and laughed about our parents and shared stories the way kids do.

Over the past decade I have watched powerful movements of people who publicly stand up for their equal rights, for marriage equality, and the artists and writers who beautifully and routinely portray alternative families in their work.

By doing so they give children a chance to see themselves in art and culture, and chip away at the otherness of being raised by gay parents.

It is clear to me now that the greatest impact I can have on my children is through the language I use to explain things to them. My children might assume their friends also have three grandmothers like they do, because the language my husband and I use to talk about my two mothers has been warm, familial —no different than how we speak about his straight parents.

This need for clarity and understanding and precise language stretches far beyond explaining sexual orientations to children. Teaching children these skills when they are young will shape their capacity for resilience and tolerance and their confidence and pride in where they come from.

I wish I had felt empowered, through language, to be unashamed of my family and of myself. They will instantly have many examples of people close to them to reference — other gay couples who are in our lives, and their two grandmothers in Arkansas.

Their world is wide open, unashamed. The way it should be. Some secrets — small ones — are fine. But secrets that cause unnecessary shame have no place in childhood.

Constant harassment of Nigerians is fast becoming a norm in our society today. A former Deputy Governor of the Central Bank The events of last week on the floor of the Nigerian Senate eclipsed any farce that has occurred prior.

September 15, Isime Esene. September 15, Isime Esene More. Isime Esene. March 27, - pm Reply. September 21, - pm Reply.

Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Uroupa Kiakubu September 18,

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